The day will be spent in taking her out for dinner, or for a make over to the nearest salon, making her feel genuinely happy, and then, its back to business. The morning after, the card companies will be laughing their way to the bank, the chocolate manufacturers will be piling up the cash and the salon’s owners will be checking through the brochures of cruise liners…the DAY syndrome has been their best business bet every single month these past twelve months, its now time for the annual vacation, and the most expensive one that is.
I had felt this way on the 14th of February, on 9th of March (or was it twelfth, well, never mind), and am feeling the same way now. It’s a bit like the presence of movie camera during ceremonies like marriage, so the recording becomes more important than the ceremony itself. The same feeling of pretense, as if the entire gamut of emotions is a façade being put up, carefully rehearsed, carefully stage managed. What are all these Days about anyways?
To begin with, they are not about genuine feelings, that are one thing for sure. I son who loves his mother, and I mean REALLY loves his mother, will not just mail order a bunch of roses for a lonely old lady across the continent, because he would instinctively know that the flowers delivered by a complete stranger will never convey his true feelings. It may not be convenient for him to fly down just for a day in the middle of May. So how will he express his love? Well, he could have just as well expressed his love on the first of February, or for that mater, tenth of March, or any other day when he had a little time on his hands. . Does he need to wait for a whole 365 days to send his mother a gift so she knows he loves her? That’s hardly a congenital relationship. I would think such bonds do not need saying, and whenever anything is said, it should be heartfelt, not business-fed.
The same logic applies to Valentine’s Day. Any time is as good as any other to declare your love for another person. Making a caricature at such a fine emotion is not very sensitive. Why would you want to wait for February the fourteenth to declare your love? Why not do it the first time you feel that pang…I love her so. Is that because marketing gurus tell us that love is incomplete if unaccompanied by twelve red roses and a box of chocolate candy? The result is over marketing of the emotion, every Tom, Dick and Harry and his second cousin are waiting for one day in the middle of the second month of the year to approach that woman, it’s the day, so lets do it!
Almost all these Days carry the same logic. Is there a genuine reason why only one day in the year has been ordained for the woman who created you, fed you, cared for you all your life and will always be loving you, never stop caring about you…or thinking about you. Is the ninth of May the only day you will stop to think about her? Is the ninth of May the only day she will expect her children to appreciate her, love her and understand what she’s going through? Does Hallmark have the right to be our spokesperson? Can we wish our mother in a language she can understand and relate to…or does it only have to be an expensive card with the message written by some copywriter who does not me from Adam? Does it have to be how much I can spend on the box of chocolates? Will the box of chocolates take care of her empty heart once her little babies have soared on their new wings and left the home an empty nest? Will any amount of chocolate fill the gap she feels when she cannot make you understand her point of view anymore? How much can you spend to give her back those endless nights of nursing, those long, dreary days of cleaning, cooking and feeding you? Will your card no set right all her anxieties when you did not return from a friend’s party till two a.m? Is that all you think she needs? A card and chocolates, to compensate for the unbearable pain of bringing you into this world and the intolerable sacrifice of bringing up a child who she knows will one day be an adult in his own world … and that she may not be even sharing his world? Will anything change this ninth of May?
I had felt this way on the 14th of February, on 9th of March (or was it twelfth, well, never mind), and am feeling the same way now. It’s a bit like the presence of movie camera during ceremonies like marriage, so the recording becomes more important than the ceremony itself. The same feeling of pretense, as if the entire gamut of emotions is a façade being put up, carefully rehearsed, carefully stage managed. What are all these Days about anyways?
To begin with, they are not about genuine feelings, that are one thing for sure. I son who loves his mother, and I mean REALLY loves his mother, will not just mail order a bunch of roses for a lonely old lady across the continent, because he would instinctively know that the flowers delivered by a complete stranger will never convey his true feelings. It may not be convenient for him to fly down just for a day in the middle of May. So how will he express his love? Well, he could have just as well expressed his love on the first of February, or for that mater, tenth of March, or any other day when he had a little time on his hands. . Does he need to wait for a whole 365 days to send his mother a gift so she knows he loves her? That’s hardly a congenital relationship. I would think such bonds do not need saying, and whenever anything is said, it should be heartfelt, not business-fed.
The same logic applies to Valentine’s Day. Any time is as good as any other to declare your love for another person. Making a caricature at such a fine emotion is not very sensitive. Why would you want to wait for February the fourteenth to declare your love? Why not do it the first time you feel that pang…I love her so. Is that because marketing gurus tell us that love is incomplete if unaccompanied by twelve red roses and a box of chocolate candy? The result is over marketing of the emotion, every Tom, Dick and Harry and his second cousin are waiting for one day in the middle of the second month of the year to approach that woman, it’s the day, so lets do it!
Almost all these Days carry the same logic. Is there a genuine reason why only one day in the year has been ordained for the woman who created you, fed you, cared for you all your life and will always be loving you, never stop caring about you…or thinking about you. Is the ninth of May the only day you will stop to think about her? Is the ninth of May the only day she will expect her children to appreciate her, love her and understand what she’s going through? Does Hallmark have the right to be our spokesperson? Can we wish our mother in a language she can understand and relate to…or does it only have to be an expensive card with the message written by some copywriter who does not me from Adam? Does it have to be how much I can spend on the box of chocolates? Will the box of chocolates take care of her empty heart once her little babies have soared on their new wings and left the home an empty nest? Will any amount of chocolate fill the gap she feels when she cannot make you understand her point of view anymore? How much can you spend to give her back those endless nights of nursing, those long, dreary days of cleaning, cooking and feeding you? Will your card no set right all her anxieties when you did not return from a friend’s party till two a.m? Is that all you think she needs? A card and chocolates, to compensate for the unbearable pain of bringing you into this world and the intolerable sacrifice of bringing up a child who she knows will one day be an adult in his own world … and that she may not be even sharing his world? Will anything change this ninth of May?
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