We were sitting in the back seat holding hands. My heart belonged to him and his heart was mine. We were childhood sweethearts.
I new I loved him when I was six years old I just didn't tell him then. We were best friends till middle school rolled around and we both tried dating other people. It didn't work out. Taylor was the only one right for me. He new my favorite color, ice cream flavor, and day of the week. He also new that at night I cried to myself out of pure pain and torture for no reason. He new that I played the violin until the age of nine when I wanted to learn gymnastics. He new why my parents were separated and he came over and spent the night with me when my mother was out of town. He new I was afraid of the dark and that I didn't like being on stage. He helped me with everything. He was always there for me. I tried to be there for him. I tried to learn his favorites and his hates but I didn't do very well. All I no is that he stayed with me and he said he loved me.
My mom used to joke around with his mom about how we were the perfect couple, we would get married one day, and die lying next to each other. I liked that thought. If I had to die I would want to be laying next to him forever in the ground. I felt sorry for the people who never found true love. they might want to be cremated instead of lying in the ground forever next to someone you didn't like or didn't know.
My heart pounded as I looked at him. He was to good for me. I was short, blonde, and too skinny. He was tall with cute boy cut short brown hair with blond "bangs" from working outside so much, he usually had the front spiked. His eyes were the kind of blue that you would have to travel to the bottom of the ocean to see, and looked like they were always smiling. His lips were soft red, he was always kind of tan, and he was always kissing me.
I remember the first day he kissed me. I was so nervous, not because he was my first kiss, but because it was him and I wanted sparks. There was, of course, sparks. He kissed me soft and gently then pulled back looking if it was okay. I jumped then. I couldn't hold back he had finally kissed me I wrapped my arms around his head and pulled him tight as if he was leaving and never coming back.
I blushed as I remembered the early days of our relationship. Taylor didn't notice, he was playing with the lines on my hand. I pulled my hand away playfully then gave it back to him. He picked it up and kissed it. I pretended to be honored. He laughed quietly.
We didn't talk much. We didn't have too he new what I was saying without my words. I un-buckled my seat and scooted my butt closer to him, into the middle seat. Taylors dads cell phone rang. Taylor kissed my head right under the crown line of my hair. The car swerved and I was still un-buckled. I reached my hand for Taylors. He looked at me scared. I squeezed his hand three times. Our way of saying I love you without saying it. He squeezed mine back three times too. The car swerved again in the opposite direction. I let go of Taylors hand and held on to the seat. I thought I was going to die. The car swerved for a third time ending with a crash.
I was forced out of my seat and hit my head hard again the back of the drivers seat. The force knocked me backwards back into my seat. I felt dizzy. the air bags deployed making Taylors father cough out his final breath. I reached for Taylors hand and held it tight. I never wanted to let go. I was afraid for him so I got out of the car and stumbled my way to the passenger seat. I found the phone that was still ringing I answered out of breath. "Hello? We crashed i m not really sure what happened we need help fast im not sure if they're going to make it and I don't know where we are. We were heading home from cheerl..." that's all I could say.everything went black. My head hit against the ground.
When I woke up I was covered in tubes, laying on an uncomfortable white bed, and I felt like I was being watched. I looked around. I saw a woman dressed in all white looking at me in a sad way. The lights were too bright. It smelled like old people. there was a beeping continuous sound. "who are you? Where's Taylor?" I asked slightly remembering what happened. My head hurt. "My name is Dr. Feet. Yes I know its a weird name. You are in a hospital. How do you feel? Can I get you anything?" she looked at me then the machines I was hooked up to.
"Hi," I said flatly. "How's Taylor?" this was all I needed to know. I just wanted to make sure he was okay.
"Taylor is... not with us anymore." She looked away from me.
The continuous beeping got louder and more fast paced. "What? He... no he had too... you let him... no he's alive... he's just... Taylor can't... you just... where?" I managed to mutter out. My head spun. He can't be dead. Taylor can't die.
She looked at me again. "Calm down. He's under great care. They put him in the special 204 room." She was trying to comfort me by putting her hand on my shoulder.
She just told me he died now he's in great care? I tore the things of my face. The spots burned for a second but I didn't care. I jumped off the bed and ran down the hallway. 204, I had to find room 204. The number ran through my head till I found it. I opened up the curtain. Old people smell took over my nose. My heart ripped inside. He was gone. Gone forever.
I fell down. Some lady came over and helped me up. I didn't care. She started asking me questions. I didn't listen. Dr. Feet came and helped me back to my room. I stared at the wall. More doctors came. I ignored them all. I didn't take any medicine. I stopped watching tv. I just sat there staring at the wall.
A few days passed before Dr. Feet came in again and told me I could go home if I took this medicine. I looked at her. After watching the same memories in my head like movies for hours and hours straight, going home felt good. "Can I ask you something?" I said. My voice was scratchy because I hadn't used it.
"Of course. Anything" she said in a sweet caring voice. She looked at me as if I was the saddest thing she had ever seen. I probably was. She moved closer to my bed. I looked into her green eyes.
"What... did he... um..." tears started streaming from my eyes. "I just... can you tell me what happened?" my throat clenched but I held my gaze into her eyes.
"I'm not sure you want to know honey." She looked as if I was twisting her arm or had her at gun point. I simply nodded. " well you were in a car crash... into a tree. Taylor, his dad, and you. The air bags bruised Taylors fathers lungs forcing him no ability to breathe. He died instantly."
I looked at her begging her to go on. She didn't continue. " what about Taylor? What happened to him?" I whispered
She looked at me. "His head broke the glass and went through the window." She whispered. I flinched but took her hand and squeezed. I was trying to show her to be strong and just tell me. "His seat belt held him together very well but if he hadn't had it on he probably would have been able to get the glass out of him better." She took a deep breath. "When the car hit the tree his head went through the window causing glass to fly around. The impact lurched his body forward causing the glass to inject into his face and chest area. One piece of glass tore his lower right lung making it impossible for him to use it to breathe. he tried to hang on as long as he could. When we removed all the glass he woke up..." she trailed off
I looked at her. is that it? He woke up? Did he say something? Did he smile? What did he do? What happened? If he woke up how did he die? "And.....?" was all I was able to say.
"He did what you did. 'Where's Tera?' he asked me. I told him you were sleeping. He tried to wait till you woke up. We tried to wake you up. He wrote you this. Well, he said what to write and one of the nurses wrote it. I haven't read it so.... here" she said handing me a white piece of paper folded into four folds.
I took the folded paper and closed my hand around it. "Go on ill read this later." I said looking at her again. Wishing I could open the note. I just wanted to see him, hear him, be with him. But that wouldn't happen so I guess I wanted next to open the letter. I was going to wait till she finished or else I might forget what she was saying.
She looked at me confused but gave in anyway. "He died later that day that he woke up. It was peaceful. He was smiling when he left. Your mother and his mother were with him. He told me to keep you safe." She broke out into tears.
I felt proud of myself. I had held it together longer than the doctor had. I reached towards her and tried to comfort her. She got up and grabbed a tissue than sat down next to me again. "I will read it out loud if you like." Glancing down at my hand. She shook her head. "I will anyway. You have a right to know. Thank you for trying. It means a lot to me and I know that's not much but its all I can give right now." I said barely able to hold my tears in. She couldn't keep them in.
I opened the letter and took a deep breath it read. "'Dear Tera, thank you. I lived a beautiful life because of you. You were with me all the time even though you thought you weren't. You are the nicest person I've ever met. Oh gosh I don't know what to say. You are wonderful. I love you. I couldn't have asked for any better. Don't be to sad about me okay? You'll live just fine. And someday we will meet again up here where we will be together forever longer. Help my mother out. She's all alone now. Tell her im sorry. Tell her I didn't mean to cause her any hurt. And same with you Tera. I don't want you to ruin your life just because mine is over. Go out and have fun. Enjoy your life because you don't no when it will end. You are love. You are all I needed. Thank you again. -forever yours Taylor. P.S. No matter what you do down there I will always be waiting for you up here.'" I finished. There were tears splattered all over the note. I closed it and set it by my bed on my night stand.
I pulled my knees up to my chest and cried. I must've cried for hours because when I ran out of tears my mother was sitting in the chair in my room. She just sat there. She knew it would be hard for me for a while.
I layed in that bed for 2 more days before I called Dr. Feet to bring me the medicine. When she came in I took the medicine and she helped me put clothes back on. My mother was at work so I still had a while before I headed home.
"Tera, can I ask you something?" she said "it might make you sad again though." She looked at me. I nodded. "That note was the sweetest thing I've ever heard in my whole entire life. I see people in and out of here everyday and a lot of them are sad too but you and him had something special that..." a tear escaped from me and I new she could see it. I wanted her to go on anyway. "I just wanted to say do you know how lucky you are? It takes people forever to find the one they love. Most people don't even find it. And you found it at age six. Don't forget him. I know I never will. And thank you for reading that note out loud. You made me realize a lot of things. A lot of important things." She wiped her eyes and sniffed a few times. "Okay im ready when you are." She said as she walked out the room. Leaving me a few minutes to sink in her words.
I replayed them over and over again in my head. I wouldn't forget him or Dr. Feet. Nope they were special to me. I wouldn't, couldn't, forget.
I new I loved him when I was six years old I just didn't tell him then. We were best friends till middle school rolled around and we both tried dating other people. It didn't work out. Taylor was the only one right for me. He new my favorite color, ice cream flavor, and day of the week. He also new that at night I cried to myself out of pure pain and torture for no reason. He new that I played the violin until the age of nine when I wanted to learn gymnastics. He new why my parents were separated and he came over and spent the night with me when my mother was out of town. He new I was afraid of the dark and that I didn't like being on stage. He helped me with everything. He was always there for me. I tried to be there for him. I tried to learn his favorites and his hates but I didn't do very well. All I no is that he stayed with me and he said he loved me.
My mom used to joke around with his mom about how we were the perfect couple, we would get married one day, and die lying next to each other. I liked that thought. If I had to die I would want to be laying next to him forever in the ground. I felt sorry for the people who never found true love. they might want to be cremated instead of lying in the ground forever next to someone you didn't like or didn't know.
My heart pounded as I looked at him. He was to good for me. I was short, blonde, and too skinny. He was tall with cute boy cut short brown hair with blond "bangs" from working outside so much, he usually had the front spiked. His eyes were the kind of blue that you would have to travel to the bottom of the ocean to see, and looked like they were always smiling. His lips were soft red, he was always kind of tan, and he was always kissing me.
I remember the first day he kissed me. I was so nervous, not because he was my first kiss, but because it was him and I wanted sparks. There was, of course, sparks. He kissed me soft and gently then pulled back looking if it was okay. I jumped then. I couldn't hold back he had finally kissed me I wrapped my arms around his head and pulled him tight as if he was leaving and never coming back.
I blushed as I remembered the early days of our relationship. Taylor didn't notice, he was playing with the lines on my hand. I pulled my hand away playfully then gave it back to him. He picked it up and kissed it. I pretended to be honored. He laughed quietly.
We didn't talk much. We didn't have too he new what I was saying without my words. I un-buckled my seat and scooted my butt closer to him, into the middle seat. Taylors dads cell phone rang. Taylor kissed my head right under the crown line of my hair. The car swerved and I was still un-buckled. I reached my hand for Taylors. He looked at me scared. I squeezed his hand three times. Our way of saying I love you without saying it. He squeezed mine back three times too. The car swerved again in the opposite direction. I let go of Taylors hand and held on to the seat. I thought I was going to die. The car swerved for a third time ending with a crash.
I was forced out of my seat and hit my head hard again the back of the drivers seat. The force knocked me backwards back into my seat. I felt dizzy. the air bags deployed making Taylors father cough out his final breath. I reached for Taylors hand and held it tight. I never wanted to let go. I was afraid for him so I got out of the car and stumbled my way to the passenger seat. I found the phone that was still ringing I answered out of breath. "Hello? We crashed i m not really sure what happened we need help fast im not sure if they're going to make it and I don't know where we are. We were heading home from cheerl..." that's all I could say.everything went black. My head hit against the ground.
When I woke up I was covered in tubes, laying on an uncomfortable white bed, and I felt like I was being watched. I looked around. I saw a woman dressed in all white looking at me in a sad way. The lights were too bright. It smelled like old people. there was a beeping continuous sound. "who are you? Where's Taylor?" I asked slightly remembering what happened. My head hurt. "My name is Dr. Feet. Yes I know its a weird name. You are in a hospital. How do you feel? Can I get you anything?" she looked at me then the machines I was hooked up to.
"Hi," I said flatly. "How's Taylor?" this was all I needed to know. I just wanted to make sure he was okay.
"Taylor is... not with us anymore." She looked away from me.
The continuous beeping got louder and more fast paced. "What? He... no he had too... you let him... no he's alive... he's just... Taylor can't... you just... where?" I managed to mutter out. My head spun. He can't be dead. Taylor can't die.
She looked at me again. "Calm down. He's under great care. They put him in the special 204 room." She was trying to comfort me by putting her hand on my shoulder.
She just told me he died now he's in great care? I tore the things of my face. The spots burned for a second but I didn't care. I jumped off the bed and ran down the hallway. 204, I had to find room 204. The number ran through my head till I found it. I opened up the curtain. Old people smell took over my nose. My heart ripped inside. He was gone. Gone forever.
I fell down. Some lady came over and helped me up. I didn't care. She started asking me questions. I didn't listen. Dr. Feet came and helped me back to my room. I stared at the wall. More doctors came. I ignored them all. I didn't take any medicine. I stopped watching tv. I just sat there staring at the wall.
A few days passed before Dr. Feet came in again and told me I could go home if I took this medicine. I looked at her. After watching the same memories in my head like movies for hours and hours straight, going home felt good. "Can I ask you something?" I said. My voice was scratchy because I hadn't used it.
"Of course. Anything" she said in a sweet caring voice. She looked at me as if I was the saddest thing she had ever seen. I probably was. She moved closer to my bed. I looked into her green eyes.
"What... did he... um..." tears started streaming from my eyes. "I just... can you tell me what happened?" my throat clenched but I held my gaze into her eyes.
"I'm not sure you want to know honey." She looked as if I was twisting her arm or had her at gun point. I simply nodded. " well you were in a car crash... into a tree. Taylor, his dad, and you. The air bags bruised Taylors fathers lungs forcing him no ability to breathe. He died instantly."
I looked at her begging her to go on. She didn't continue. " what about Taylor? What happened to him?" I whispered
She looked at me. "His head broke the glass and went through the window." She whispered. I flinched but took her hand and squeezed. I was trying to show her to be strong and just tell me. "His seat belt held him together very well but if he hadn't had it on he probably would have been able to get the glass out of him better." She took a deep breath. "When the car hit the tree his head went through the window causing glass to fly around. The impact lurched his body forward causing the glass to inject into his face and chest area. One piece of glass tore his lower right lung making it impossible for him to use it to breathe. he tried to hang on as long as he could. When we removed all the glass he woke up..." she trailed off
I looked at her. is that it? He woke up? Did he say something? Did he smile? What did he do? What happened? If he woke up how did he die? "And.....?" was all I was able to say.
"He did what you did. 'Where's Tera?' he asked me. I told him you were sleeping. He tried to wait till you woke up. We tried to wake you up. He wrote you this. Well, he said what to write and one of the nurses wrote it. I haven't read it so.... here" she said handing me a white piece of paper folded into four folds.
I took the folded paper and closed my hand around it. "Go on ill read this later." I said looking at her again. Wishing I could open the note. I just wanted to see him, hear him, be with him. But that wouldn't happen so I guess I wanted next to open the letter. I was going to wait till she finished or else I might forget what she was saying.
She looked at me confused but gave in anyway. "He died later that day that he woke up. It was peaceful. He was smiling when he left. Your mother and his mother were with him. He told me to keep you safe." She broke out into tears.
I felt proud of myself. I had held it together longer than the doctor had. I reached towards her and tried to comfort her. She got up and grabbed a tissue than sat down next to me again. "I will read it out loud if you like." Glancing down at my hand. She shook her head. "I will anyway. You have a right to know. Thank you for trying. It means a lot to me and I know that's not much but its all I can give right now." I said barely able to hold my tears in. She couldn't keep them in.
I opened the letter and took a deep breath it read. "'Dear Tera, thank you. I lived a beautiful life because of you. You were with me all the time even though you thought you weren't. You are the nicest person I've ever met. Oh gosh I don't know what to say. You are wonderful. I love you. I couldn't have asked for any better. Don't be to sad about me okay? You'll live just fine. And someday we will meet again up here where we will be together forever longer. Help my mother out. She's all alone now. Tell her im sorry. Tell her I didn't mean to cause her any hurt. And same with you Tera. I don't want you to ruin your life just because mine is over. Go out and have fun. Enjoy your life because you don't no when it will end. You are love. You are all I needed. Thank you again. -forever yours Taylor. P.S. No matter what you do down there I will always be waiting for you up here.'" I finished. There were tears splattered all over the note. I closed it and set it by my bed on my night stand.
I pulled my knees up to my chest and cried. I must've cried for hours because when I ran out of tears my mother was sitting in the chair in my room. She just sat there. She knew it would be hard for me for a while.
I layed in that bed for 2 more days before I called Dr. Feet to bring me the medicine. When she came in I took the medicine and she helped me put clothes back on. My mother was at work so I still had a while before I headed home.
"Tera, can I ask you something?" she said "it might make you sad again though." She looked at me. I nodded. "That note was the sweetest thing I've ever heard in my whole entire life. I see people in and out of here everyday and a lot of them are sad too but you and him had something special that..." a tear escaped from me and I new she could see it. I wanted her to go on anyway. "I just wanted to say do you know how lucky you are? It takes people forever to find the one they love. Most people don't even find it. And you found it at age six. Don't forget him. I know I never will. And thank you for reading that note out loud. You made me realize a lot of things. A lot of important things." She wiped her eyes and sniffed a few times. "Okay im ready when you are." She said as she walked out the room. Leaving me a few minutes to sink in her words.
I replayed them over and over again in my head. I wouldn't forget him or Dr. Feet. Nope they were special to me. I wouldn't, couldn't, forget.
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